Rekindling a Joy and Longing for God: Meeting God at Hlub 2023
Loss of Joy
There were days this past year where I’d wake up and question my purpose of living. I was very complacent in my relationship with God. The things I enjoyed like photography, writing, podcasting, hanging out with friends, and enjoying deep conversations, soon became a chore for me. These days were discouraging as I dreaded waking up and having to face reality. Having to face days of my emotionless state of life. My mind felt fuzzy and foggy. It was hard to trust, believe, and find joy in God who seemed to feel silent like all the other areas of my life.
“The movies became a defibrillator, something that I turned to as a means to keep my heart beating. To help me feel some sort of emotion in my nothingness.”
To cope, I bombarded myself with movies and tv shows. I went through a horror and thriller era when it came to movies because those films seemed to be the only thing that would awaken my sense of emotion, to awaken my numb feelings in life. The movies became a defibrillator, something that I turned to as a means to keep my heart beating. To help me feel some sort of emotion in my nothingness. But we all know that a defibrillator never lasts long. It’s not meant to keep the heart pumping but only shocks to kick start the heart back to normal. When I watched thriller or horror movies, they made me feel this rush of adrenaline and piqued my interest. However, once it was done, I returned back to the same joyless reality I often experienced. Defibrillators don’t actually cure a heart attack, nor do they soothe it. These movies didn’t provide me the joy I longed for to push me forward. My lack of joy and longing for God affected every part of my life.
Yet in God’s goodness and grace, I had a breakthrough a couple months ago. I began realizing that there was baggage I was carrying that resulted in my stale season. Hurt, pain, and bitterness harbored inside my heart, and I never surrendered it. So then it began to take a toll on my emotional and spiritual health. It created distance in my relationship with God and became an obstacle for me to truly love Him with my heart, mind, soul, and strength. When I finally mustered up the courage and discipline to talk and surrender these things to God, all the mess clouding my heart and mind started clearing up. I saw a light in the darkness. This would be the beginning of my search for lasting joy in the Lord. The first step in this journey was surrenderance and dependence on God. Now, the second step is refreshing and rekindling joy in Him.
I met God again at Hlub 2023, a conference hosted by Hmong District of Christian and Missionary Alliance. This biennial youth conference was hosted in Indiana a couple weeks ago. I had the honor and privilege of attending the conference as a workshop speaker and spoke on the topic of discerning pop culture. Even though I went to this conference to encourage and bless others with what God was doing in my life, I ended up walking out of Hlub as the one who was blessed and encouraged by what God was doing in the Hmong churches and leaders. Prior to the conference, I was eager and ready to hear from God. So I went in expecting to hear from Him, and He spoke. When you expect to hear from God, you will hear from Him.
These conferences aren’t meant to sustain our joy and longing for God. But that doesn’t mean that God can’t meet his people at these places. Christian conferences such as these can help rekindle joy, curiosity and longing for God. I truly believe that they are a taste of the new heavens and earth as believers from all over gather together in one place to dwell in the presence of God and worship Him. Hlub encouraged me to pursue God again, and was that extra boost that I needed to get back up on my feet, but only stronger this time.
“They are a taste of the new heavens and earth as believers from all over gather together in one place to dwell in the presence of God and worship Him.”
A Joy Rekindled
When you’re feeling discouraged in your faith, God’s people can spur you to encounter Him in a fresh way. Find a cloud of witnesses who are intensely in love with God so it inspires you to continue seeking God.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. But there are many moments when a husband and wife take each other for granted. It’s easy to get past the honeymoon phase and get bored. But when a married couple attend weddings and witness vows of newly wedded couples, it has the force and power to reignite the flames of comfortable love. Hearing others proclaim their genuine love and joy in God also has the power to reignite the flames of our comfortable love too. Our longing for God can get in a comfortable stage because we are fallen and tainted with sin. We are forgetful creatures who easily get distracted by other types of “lovers” in our life that we forget that His fulfills us. You can read more on this subject here. John Piper says,
“We are half-hearted creatures … When infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
What other lovers are entertaining you right now? Do you find yourself still longing for something more or something better? These other lovers may seem like they can fulfill us. The movies seemed like it could give me a sense of joy or at least escape the pain of my problems. But if these lovers aren’t God, we will only continue chasing after a quickly vanishing gust of wind. However, when we encounter people or moments that bring us back to the intense love God has for us, it can recapture our minds and heart. Just like a husband and wife who rekindle their love for one another by witnessing a newly wedded couple's passionate vows, God’s people have the ability to spur others to encounter God and long for him in a brand new, fresh way. To see that love for God doesn’t have to be stale and dry. When you begin to see your brother or sister’s passionate relationship with God, it can inspire you to desire the same thing. It gives you hope that there is such thing as genuine, real, long lasting joy that can be found in God.
Hlub
I saw this at Hlub, and it was incredible. As I just exited a season of drought in my relationship with God, I saw so many others’ bold love and faith in Him at the conference. I thought to myself, I want that too. There were so many different pastors and chaperones who made themselves available to youth members that felt convicted by the sermons and workshops. I heard missionaries sharing their courageous stories of faith that made them move across the ocean to share God’s love with others because of their daring love for God. Volunteers and staff from all over the states sacrificed their week to spend it with the youth because they believed in what God could do in the 2,500+ attendees. Workshop speakers from all different backgrounds came together to teach biblically saturated truths because of their compassion for a generation lost in the world. There were preachers who preached God’s word with so much faith and sincerity because they were personally transformed by Jesus. Everything about this Hlub experience was amazing because there were many people who were fiercely pursuing God and His people. Jesus Christ has this marvelous ability to unite people of different ages, backgrounds and stories to be unified as one body in Christ (Galatians 3:26-26).
“I saw so many others’ bold love and faith in Him at the conference. I thought to myself, I want that too.”
So you may be wondering, how can you find other believers who are deeply in love with God? Maybe you are desiring to encounter God in a fresh way through seeing who He is and what He’s doing in others lives. Here are three spaces you can go to look for refreshment:
Read about the cloud of witnesses in Hebrews 11
Hebrews 11 is a recounting of faithful men and women who became a cloud of witnesses for believers like you and me who are still running our faith race. Read these stories of their unwavering faith as it inspires you to endure the hardships of life and persevere in your longing for God. Their stories spur us to continue having bold and courageous faith despite the obstacles thrown in our way as we fix our eyes to Jesus, the perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:1-2). Each of them had incredible trust in God that serves as a testimony of His faithfulness and goodness in our brittle seasons of faith. It’s crazy to think that during their time, they didn’t have the complete Bible there to read and encourage them like we do today. Take advantage of reading the Bible, a life giving resource and allow these testaments of bold, unwavering faith to be a source of encouragement for you.
Attend Christian Conferences
Conferences can be the start to seeing many people from different states come together and worship the same God. God is working at the national level, and these conferences are a great space for us to see what He is doing and how he gathers strangers and makes us a big family. Particularly, my brothers and sisters at Hlub were like a great cloud of witnesses for me as I listened to God’s faithfulness in their life. They shared about how beautiful Jesus was to them and the Holy Spirit’s work. The way they spoke about God, to seeing their faith displayed in obedience, to spending time and seeing Jesus in them, inspires me to continue running my faith race in pursuit of God in this earthly life. I love seeing how much they are in love with Him. It makes me excited to get to know the same God, Jesus and Holy Spirit. Eventually, God worked in my heart during that week at Hlub and opened my eyes and heart to experience a new profound joy through witnessing the faith of others and hearing the Word of God preached by a variety of those who love Him.
Finding leaders and faithful believers in your local church
The reality is that Hlub will not last for a whole year (as much as we would like it to). We will all return back to our local churches, and reality will start to sink in. However, seek out the godly men and women in your church. Have conversations with them, and ask them what God has been doing in their life. Listen intently to their testimonies. There are faithful men and women in our churches who are pursuing God in their families, school, work, and communities. Get together with them and share some of your struggles. Ask for prayer and godly wisdom in the situations you may be in. The more you become connected with these believers, it will become a source of strength when you encounter hardships, doubt, and desert seasons of your faith.
So the next time that you feel discouraged in your pursuit of joy in God, I encourage you to look at the others who are running their race too. Don’t be afraid of the zealous joy and curiosity you experienced at Hlub or other conferences, but take that joy and cultivate it. When you find the joy you’ve been looking for, hold tight to it. Maybe you tasted it through a conversation with another believer or by hearing the word of God sincerely preached at a conference or church service. Do whatever you can to seek joy through godly communities as you continue running your faith race. Always know that others have gone before you and are cheering you on in this lifetime to finish the race.
